Love isn’t someone who would die for you. They won’t save you, nor should you save them. Love is living for yourself and having someone stand beside you while you both save yourselves. Your love inspires life, blooming into knowing when to stand behind them should they need reminding they have someone right there. Living a full life in what your love created is key. This causes one to stand in front of you to shield you, sometimes from even yourself. No, don’t die for me – can you live for me? That is how to love, and it starts with loving yourself.
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The Art of Never Getting Caught
It’s rather simple to see the moves being made. Hypervigilance from necessity gives you this edge. Fabricate what you want to be known, laying it out meticulously. Sharpening your sword while you’re believed to be crumbling in the dark. Letting the picture they’re painting of you unfold. Isolation becomes the weapon they thought was weakness. Building yourself in plain sight. Let them see some wins, as you magnify all the turbulence they believe you’re drowning in. Play the fool for your audience. And when the time is right, you’ll master the art of never getting caught.
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The Art of Noticing
The one who sees you is the one who leaves his mark. Learning your cues, the ones you didn’t even realize about yourself. Noticing the shifts in your eyes or face when something hits you in an unexpected way. The way they soften when you are truly happy. Taking note of how you become an innocent girl shining with love. Learning the songs that can pull you out of sorrow or make you smile. The one who makes sure not to be careless in his efforts, with reassurance that he doesn’t require you ask for. Simply because he wants you to never question it. Such a man leaves a mark unlike anything else, for he sees you with more than his eyes.
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Unshackled From Darkness
I don’t recall when it happened. Perhaps it wasn’t all at once, and so it was able to settle in over time. The realization has dawned on me that many things I longed for have become my reality. I’ve found peace. Blissful peace within my skin, in my home, and in my life as a mother. Love flows freely. My children are growing into amazing young people, having overcome the trauma of their past. Fear no longer exists in my reality, something I never thought I’d achieve.
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Gazing in the Mirror
Threads that once were so frail, barely hanging on to who I was, have spun into an integrated fabric within my soul. No longer do I walk around without my armor. Golden threads burst to life, reclaiming what I once thought was gone forever. It not only covers me, but something peculiar has occurred – it shines out of me, sending fragments of my aura into the world. Love found me. I just had to remember to gaze into the mirror, to see the girl I had forgotten.
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Waves that Remain
Moments come in sudden waves. Sadness strikes and reminds you of the love you wish you had – arms to hold you, someone there to let you cry and wipe your tears. Not to fix you, just to hear you. That pesky lump in your throat. Fear that you’ll never have all that your heart dreams of. Moments like these come in waves. The feeling of being with someone who doesn’t value it is a slow death that makes crashing waves somewhat bearable.
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Echoes of Fragile Threads
One day, a heart you’ve given freely will beat to a different rhythm. Your whispers will fall on changed ears, and responses will carry unfamiliar tones. Memories will be the tender threads that bind, and hope, a fragile ember, will flicker in the silence.
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The Cost of Love
What they don’t tell you about having your heart broken is that you must grieve the loss. It’s packing it all up, cleaning, grieving them as if they no longer walk the earth. In truth, they don’t. The version of them you loved so much is gone. You’ll see someone who looks exactly like them, sounds like them, acts like them, but it isn’t your them. They died. And so, grief can’t be skipped, and it’s brutal, but that means you loved.
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Echoes of My Reflection
Silence once made my soul want to crawl out of my skin. Being alone was the most terrifying thing for someone with deeply ingrained abandonment issues. Doing anything for myself was such a foreign concept for me to understand. The girl who had to prove her worth even to herself has faded away. I’m not quite sure when she vanished, but the woman I see in the mirror tonight isn’t her anymore. I’m spending days with just myself at a time, enjoying life and getting lost in my own presence. The value I’ve found in myself demands my all now.
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Echoes of Ecstasy
Submerge me in your depths
Drown me in desire
Your breath on my skin, a whisper
Moans echoing, space filled
Release, then fill, devour, repeat
Erase all else, leave only you
Ink Stained Soul... 