Ink Stained Soul…

There are times that after I make myself eat I feel disgusting.
My thoughts go to getting on the scales halfway through.
Gluten free oatmeal with oat milk.
All things my allergies can and should tolerate.
Yet still, I feel like I just consumed unnecessary calories.
I don’t feel nourished.
I feel sluggish and bloated.
Like a hostage in my own body.
Deep seeded body dysmorphia from shame I didn’t deserve.
Most days a struggle.
I fight these demons every day but make no mistake this is a war.