Ink Stained Soul…

I’ve pivoted away from the life I wanted my entire adult life. The dreams inside could not die. Health issues derailed my path at 18. An unexpected pregnancy trapped me into a young marriage because of my upbringing. Depression, weight gain. I didn’t recognize myself. Trauma resurfaced again and again. An endless loop of mistakes that I did have roles in. I felt cursed. Still, the dreams in my heart were hidden beneath a stranger’s life. Who was I, really? Motherhood wasn’t what I wanted, and that became the role that made me fight the most. I was fighting for my children and the little girl inside me. Wanting to see them live their dreams while finding a way to have mine as well. Mistake after mistake. Self-sabotage and being tricked by the lies of others. You can’t win when the players manipulate you into places you would have never walked. It was a mix of life’s twists and my choices. Some faults solely mine. Many I was simply misled. Prey in an elite game. But my dreams are still here. Will I ever fully see them realized? Can I trust myself to get there? Has familiarity bred complacency? How can you see past the lies when they’re so skilled? What happens when things you want shift? All of this and still my dreams. That girl. That teenage version. That woman you envision in the place you can clearly see in your mind still. My dreams. The love and life I’ve always seen. It is Mine.