Ink Stained Soul…

I close doors so silently it goes unnoticed now… Attached so greatly, fear of being alone made me cling to everything I truly didn’t want. That scared girl in me that could lose everything overnight. The one who always saw shadows of the monsters hidden in plain sight. Never safe. Who would stay, who would leave? Looking for answers only to find my questions. I’m too loud, ask too much. I’m too pretty, so jealousy and insecurity of others left me in the cold. Boy after boy taking, in a never-ending cycle of humiliation rituals. My heart a toy for amusement. I was so loud, clingy to anything because I was terrified. Learning about myself, deciding that alone was better than one more blow that would certainly kill me. My soul wounded, but slowly I healed. Alone, but I was alive. More and more, I became more fascinating. My strength, this grit inside of me. Something I wasn’t certain I had. I became so intrigued by who I was that I fell in love. In quiet moments of spiraling fear, I allowed each wound to have its time. I took back myself. And so I close doors silently now because I no longer fear alone; I have me.