He noticed I have been staying home.
I wasn’t closing in on purpose.
Retreated is a soothing phase for myself.
A time to rest, go within on my feelings sometimes to hide, most times to recharge.
It’s been days before I finally showered.
Simple cleansing baths was all I was doing.
Writing, drawing, listening to music, wine, reading, meditating.
Lighting candles cleansing my space literally and figuratively.
Watching birds, cats, and squirrels play from my window.
Listening to The Tortured Poets Department for what has to be the millionth time.
Allowing my emotions and creativity to flow through me.
Finding beauty in my face and body.
Seeing myself as art work.
Embracing myself and my unique qualities fully with love.
What may look like avoidance is really spending time loving and healing.
Category: Uncategorized
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Sanctuary Within
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Painting Myself Whole.
I put down my pain.
I picked up a paint brush.
Letting each line each stroke create something new before me.
No longer stuck in words that locked me in.
Life, love, and plans blossoming with hope and dreams.
I broke through the dark shades adding color back into the hues of myself.
My art always my reflection.
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In the Path of Darkness and Wounds, You Lead Me
I see past the darkness and brokenness you have inside to the light behind. It’s there plain to see in the twinkle of your eyes. A beacon of light that brightens my shine. It made things darker at times, but everyone knows that it’s darkest before the light shines through – the end of a storm. You led me down the path of wounds I refused to heal, teaching me lessons and trusting me to feel. I could never have learned any other way. Your darkness walked with me as I found my way through.
Your light shines, if you know how to see it with your heart.
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Ink-Stained Tears
I cry.
Every day. Even if it is for a few moments, I cry.
Feelings with no place to go begin to fill my eyes.
My heart sinking in to the emptiness you leave.
My words screaming to be written.
That is where I am free.
Free to feel.
Free to grieve.
Free to love you.
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Forever Bound
It takes my breath.
Time hasn’t changed that.
I still look at you in awe and wonder.
I think I shall always be drawn to you.
A flame I can’t resist.
My soul knowing we will do it over and over again until time no longer exists.Bigger than the whole sky.
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Dark Goddess
I wasn’t too much when my hips drove you over the edge time and time again.
When I tasted the salt off your body.
When I screamed your name like a god for your neighbors to hear.
When your face was buried between my thighs tasting heaven.
When I took that call so he could hear what you were doing to me.
No I wasn’t too much.
And to be honest…
I am even more.
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Dust and Unturned Pages
I’m like a book
That One sitting on the shelf.
A fantasy romance with something classic and magical. The book that you keep to be read.
You pick it up, clean off the dust collected as I have been on the shelf waiting. After a few turns of the page, I’m shelved once more.
Something kept around slowly read never the thing you can’t put down.
You put me down and know I’m just there. Yours waiting to be fully enjoyed and loved in my entirety.
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They Were Not You.
If it was about how you looked on the outside, it would have been another.
The one that was so much younger.
His muscles so large that he lifted me as he pleased as if I was nothing.
If it was about how much he planned then it would have been the one that made dates and simply told me to be ready and dropping his plans to be with me.
If it was about the attentiveness, then it would have been the one that loved my moans so much he massaged my body long before and after he took me. Never missing a chance to touch me.
If it was what someone could do for me, it would have been another as well.
The one that tried to give and give despite being in a shadow.
It was never about those things for me.
I could never be taken by mediocracy.
They were not him and so it simply wouldn’t do.They didn’t have your face.
They were not you.
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Silent Fading Embers
I miss the version of me that never felt like I had to hold back.
She was free and fire.
The one that resides inside now is more reserved.
She tries her best to hide how she feels.
Full of conversations she wishes you were having.
All the things that pop in her mind that make her want to text you.
No, that version is long gone too covered in darkness to feel safe.
I just let her feel hollow and cry until she applies her mask for the world once more.
Ink Stained Soul... 