Ink Stained Soul…

Flowers are so much more than something that dies.

They are beautiful. Filling me with love and happiness when I get them. I can’t tell you how often I stop and smell them. Or even how many times I just look at them and say I love them. It is more than a flower that will die. It fills a room with love, sweetness, beauty, joy and uplifts.

I like to keep the pedals after they dry up to use in baths. Water to restore and relax you body and mind. Adding in the love that filled your space and brought happiness for days.

No a flower isn’t just something that dies. It breathes life into my world.

I was exposed.
Raw and in my most vulnerable state.
You showed me off.
Sharing my body with those I was never intimate with.
Taking from me as others have.
Reopening scars deeper than the ocean.
Sending me into the darkest parts of myself.
Where I am empty, void of anything but survival.
Never to retrieve what you took.
My safety.

My love I miss laying in your arms tonight. Come hold me in your strong arms. Look at me. Tell me you love me. Prove it to me until I fall asleep. Give me your gentle kisses. Warm me with our light. My soul misses yours.

His blue eyes were watching.
He pursued me.
I never knew he existed.
Drawing me in with those pretty words.
Charming his way into my life.
Calculated.
The chess board set.
Moving my feelings around in his game.
Disappearing like a ghost once I was locked in.
Each move was methodically played.
Taking on an epic match that would lead to his victory.
He had won.
He made me love him.
Looking back at all the broken pieces.
Pawns sacrificed over and over until the Queen surrendered herself.
Realizing that leaving the game intact was enough.
Taking away each lesson.
Allowing all the tears of loss to refocus.

Dissecting a loving heart. The post mordurm report on full display. Mapping out all the factors in cause of death. Showing the paths that either killed the part that once loved prematurely or slowly drawn out over a lifetime.

Arteries and ventricles strained over time until there was nothing left to help it beat for another any longer. How did it end? Was it the memories etched in gold, the hope and healing of the great loves that kept it going? Was it the realization they were nothing more than a warm body to someone? Was that what killed it in the end?

The darkest parts of this planet have tried taken from me.

So much so, that I depended solely on my light to heal within.

Time and time again. Walking through hell most people can’t stomach to even hear about.

I survived many times over.

I found myself by myself. I saved her, that girl. The one they tried to kill.

Everything after that, I walked through. Lighting my own path.

Emerging a Queen of both the dark and light.

Stepping into my gifts that will only ever be mine.

If you want to shine beside me then you will have to earn my allegiance.

There will be no more room for those that are unable to yield their own weapons.

I require a King.

Your voice commands my body into submission.

Your starved beast filling the room with an overpowering presence.

Like a chameleon you are both aggressive and gentle.

Demanding and dominating in the most delicious way.

Owning me in a way that spands over multiple time lines.

With loving kisses on my shoulder holding me until morning.

Sleeping inside me as your final act of possession once you have taken everything you need.

And then your gone…