Ink Stained Soul…

Do you go there too, in the depths of the night?
Where we walk on a plain far out of sight.
Are you aware, can you feel it, do you even know?
That our souls meet night after night where everything grows.

There, you are mine and I am yours.

When morning comes I’m still teethered by our silver cord.

Sparkles dancing across the smooth Indanthrone blue waters.
A whisperer of air swirling around as if knowing to be gentle.
The songs of seabirds singing their melody.
Smells of Floral and salt inviting me to join into the magic before me.
The sun beaming it’s warmth down.
Thawing my heart from its bruised state.
My soul is restored.

When I have poured out my heart. Putting all the love I have into you and our connection because it’s how I feel. I will allow myself to move with the flow of my true emotions. Becoming a vessel of authenticity. Honoring my soul as yours calls to me.

I will see us in the stars. This love to shine as brightly as a full winter snow moon. Cutting through the darkness. Letting the light fill me until I am overflowing.

It’s when you break it down. Dishonor the bond. Reject it. As you choose paths and patterns to hurt. I dim. It is slow. You never fully see the lights draining until it’s too late.

My smile doesn’t reach my eyes. Your touch doesn’t soothe me. I won’t respond as quickly or how I once did. I no longer crave you. Your voice doesn’t have the same affects. I become more involved in my own world. I care little about what you are doing or if we see each other. My secrets become my own again. And after I forgive myself for pouring into another that didn’t deserve my heart, I will disappear.

When I have moved forward, healing as I let you go. I am no longer the dreamy girl that loved you because of your soul. No. Your choices tainted who you really are.

When that becomes obvious, I leave the stars to ground myself in who you chose to be.

And so I am a leaver. My feet don’t belong on the ground. I’m meant to dance in the stars around the moon

They grew in my damaged womb. Gifts given to me to love and cherish. Healing me enough to have the will to survive the brutality life has thrown at me. An angel that walks the earth. A boy that loves fiercely. Teaching me understanding and patience. Living life every day with unconditional love. Giving me a purpose and path to be authentic. Making love easy and magic in every small step. My treasures. My heart. The gift of my babies.

I have lived in the shadows my entire life. Of a mother who left. A father who was cold. A sister whom everyone prefers. A brother who would rather I be dead. It spilled into relationships. Abused in every way. I was never enough to love correctly. Always just the spare.

You were always planning your next move, staying five steps ahead, plotting and scheming. But in your quest to outmaneuver the game, you overlooked a fundamental truth.

Missteps and misfortune led you down a path of deception, convincing you that freedom and success were within grasp. But the beast you sought to outsmart has tricked you into finding solace in solitude, leaving you to wander alone.

Only hindsight will reveal the true cost of your actions. Alone in the darkness, you’ll never know the warmth of love’s light.

I felt a pang of jealousy when I saw you with someone. I knew I had no right to feel that way, but the emotion lingered, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. I tried to drown my feelings with alcohol, but it only numbed the surface. The noise and ringing inside me persisted.

I put on a mask, forcing a smile and laugh, while secretly drowning in my emotions. I managed to drag myself out of that place with dignity intact. The next morning, I made a conscious decision to shift my focus from you to me. And so I did…

Time keeps slipping by, yet one thing remains constant: my soul’s unwavering love. While changes unfold, I’ve delved deeply within myself, refusing to wait idly. Instead, I’m stepping into the sun, embracing a brand-new era.

I’m letting the universe guide me toward the love I deserve. Time may bring changes, but it won’t alter my soul’s essence or love. I’ll welcome whatever comes next, embarking on a journey that may surpass my wildest dreams.