Ink Stained Soul…

The time spent became less and less. Calls shorter. You always in your phone, I had none of your attention. Silence that once felt so loud has become calmer. Nights alone no longer feel like I am suffocating. Those calls rarely about learning anything about my life. Talk surrounding you. I wonder if you notice that I have become aware of the role you have placed me. I answer, because that is who I am. In my time I realized I was only a filler. It was your terms, always. Things I wanted to do I had to alone. You were busy chasing your life. My needs an afterthought unless that moment you thought it would pull me back in. I saw. I knew. I allowed it. It wasn’t self respect I lacked, it was an awareness of letting you find yourself. I knew I would never have your heart the way you had mine. I saw the beauty in being part of your becoming. For a time it held me. After the last of my tears fell I knew you would never see it. You will move forward and my ghost will linger. Then you will see how my heart cracked and how brave I was to love you alone.