Ink Stained Soul…

His blue eyes were watching.
He pursued me.
I never knew he existed.
Drawing me in with those pretty words.
Charming his way into my life.
Calculated.
The chess board set.
Moving my feelings around in his game.
Disappearing like a ghost once I was locked in.
Each move was methodically played.
Taking on an epic match that would lead to his victory.
He had won.
He made me love him.
Looking back at all the broken pieces.
Pawns sacrificed over and over until the Queen surrendered herself.
Realizing that leaving the game intact was enough.
Taking away each lesson.
Allowing all the tears of loss to refocus.

Dissecting a loving heart. The post mordurm report on full display. Mapping out all the factors in cause of death. Showing the paths that either killed the part that once loved prematurely or slowly drawn out over a lifetime.

Arteries and ventricles strained over time until there was nothing left to help it beat for another any longer. How did it end? Was it the memories etched in gold, the hope and healing of the great loves that kept it going? Was it the realization they were nothing more than a warm body to someone? Was that what killed it in the end?

The darkest parts of this planet have tried taken from me.

So much so, that I depended solely on my light to heal within.

Time and time again. Walking through hell most people can’t stomach to even hear about.

I survived many times over.

I found myself by myself. I saved her, that girl. The one they tried to kill.

Everything after that, I walked through. Lighting my own path.

Emerging a Queen of both the dark and light.

Stepping into my gifts that will only ever be mine.

If you want to shine beside me then you will have to earn my allegiance.

There will be no more room for those that are unable to yield their own weapons.

I require a King.

Your voice commands my body into submission.

Your starved beast filling the room with an overpowering presence.

Like a chameleon you are both aggressive and gentle.

Demanding and dominating in the most delicious way.

Owning me in a way that spands over multiple time lines.

With loving kisses on my shoulder holding me until morning.

Sleeping inside me as your final act of possession once you have taken everything you need.

And then your gone…

Do you go there too, in the depths of the night?
Where we walk on a plain far out of sight.
Are you aware, can you feel it, do you even know?
That our souls meet night after night where everything grows.

There, you are mine and I am yours.

When morning comes I’m still teethered by our silver cord.

Sparkles dancing across the smooth Indanthrone blue waters.
A whisperer of air swirling around as if knowing to be gentle.
The songs of seabirds singing their melody.
Smells of Floral and salt inviting me to join into the magic before me.
The sun beaming it’s warmth down.
Thawing my heart from its bruised state.
My soul is restored.

When I have poured out my heart. Putting all the love I have into you and our connection because it’s how I feel. I will allow myself to move with the flow of my true emotions. Becoming a vessel of authenticity. Honoring my soul as yours calls to me.

I will see us in the stars. This love to shine as brightly as a full winter snow moon. Cutting through the darkness. Letting the light fill me until I am overflowing.

It’s when you break it down. Dishonor the bond. Reject it. As you choose paths and patterns to hurt. I dim. It is slow. You never fully see the lights draining until it’s too late.

My smile doesn’t reach my eyes. Your touch doesn’t soothe me. I won’t respond as quickly or how I once did. I no longer crave you. Your voice doesn’t have the same affects. I become more involved in my own world. I care little about what you are doing or if we see each other. My secrets become my own again. And after I forgive myself for pouring into another that didn’t deserve my heart, I will disappear.

When I have moved forward, healing as I let you go. I am no longer the dreamy girl that loved you because of your soul. No. Your choices tainted who you really are.

When that becomes obvious, I leave the stars to ground myself in who you chose to be.

And so I am a leaver. My feet don’t belong on the ground. I’m meant to dance in the stars around the moon